Let me say, some men can pull off
this transformation and I have seen drag queens that are as beautiful as female
models, to see me is to understand why this look was not ideal. I have rather
large features, butcher hands, a large nose, and shoulders that stick out way
too far. The Lee press-ons only exaggerated how gawky my hands were, and though
we had glasses that slid down my nose to distract from its bulbous shape, it
can and must be said without hurting my feelings that I was not an attractive
woman.
Undeterred, we decided that Deb
would be Linda’s cousin from Cleveland (I think we called her Ann) and I would
be her Aunt Beverly. So Linda, Ann and Aunt Bev walked into the restaurant at
about 7:00 on a Tuesday night in Canton, Ohio.
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Go ahead…I know it’s bad. And we
went out in public like this.
Anyone who saw us enter had to
wonder what the nice lady in jeans and a t-shirt was doing with a hooker and a
40 year old librarian. In too deep to back out now, we went in, sat at a table
and ordered a pitcher of strawberry Margaritas. Linda even called Jay over to
introduce us. He later reported to his dismay how un-attractive and random
Linda’s friends were.
The waitress brought us the pitcher
that he had made, and we were actually having a really nice time and starting
to relax in our victory. Then as I was pouring Deb another glass, unaccustomed
to having full-figured breasts, I accidentally tipped my glass over and spilled
a full cup of the red liquid into my lap and onto my (Linda’s) new, white
full-length skirt.
Deb and I headed into the ladies
room to rinse it out…what choice did we have? Let’s also say that men in bad
drag should never speak when other people are around in the Women’s Restroom.
Three women entered, saw the scene of Deb helping this frumpy lady clean her
skirt and laughing nervously. We would have been fine, but the loud voice and
deep throatiness of the librarian who was standing while the hooker blotted her
skirt made the other women uneasy. As our embarrassment reached its limit, we
left and moved on with the evening…
Like I said, Deb helped me grow
outside my boundaries in many ways.
Just Like You? Link
#dragisnotforeveryone #JLY #comingout #bestfriends #truthtelling #memoir #suicideprevention #mentalhealth
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